Bhonda is the new Fugly

It doesn't matter how I collect ideas which create a Kumbh Mela in mind and persuade me to create a new post, or how I lay on my bed and elevate my legs to 60 degrees and then use laptop on them, if it doesn't bring a smile on someone's face. So here is another attempt to do so.

So I heard this word BHONDA two years ago from my friend. While it seemed very catchy, but on the other side of the coin, it also sounded like a slang. Well its not. 

The meaning of this word is as easy as to explain the meaning of Jalebi to an American. Many do research works in their area of interest in last year of the college. I did research on this word. Its equivalent of  FUGLY, from the song itself. Keep the tune in mind while reading.

Here is what I found :) Take some time and enjoy.. 

Ye bhonda bhonda kya hai

Ye bhonda bhonda kya hai

Ye bhonda bhonda kya hai

Ye bhonda bhonda kya hai

Tooti footi angrezi

Reply karne me lazy

Jaate khulle me shauchalay

Aur swacchta ke liye crazy

Sadko pe gehre gaddhay

Exam ke din me birthday

Chahe rakhi ka swayavwar

Ya train me likhna number 

Hum saari baatein jaane

Fir bhi hum baat na maane

Khud hi bante anjaane puche

BHONDA BHONDA kya hai

Toothpaste me namak mirchi

Ya naap bigaade darzi

Spam link ho ya pop up

Ya ho delta toolbar k marzi

Ladki ki farzi id

Dinbhar sony pe cid;

Teacher ki class me tarr tarr

All-out na maare macchar

Lambe lambe assignmment

Khaa gaye baki enjoyment

Saari raat banao fir bhi

Saali milti disappointment

Hum saari baatein jaane

Fir bhi hum baat na maane

Khud hi bante anjaane puche

BHONDA BHONDA kya hai

Thanks :)

Keep Visiting.. Subscribe n Share else you're also bhonda :p

Funny FB and Twitter reactions to Rohit Sharma's 264 :)

Indeed. Brace Yourselves.. Because Rohit Sharma had a full dose of maggi before he came to bat and ended up scoring 264 of 173 balls. What a talent..

Speaking of talent, Indians are no exception. Yes.. Twitter and Facebook flooded with intelligent posts. Listed below are some funny reactions of people about the innings.. A blend of Facebook, Twitter, हिन्दी and English. So as the pic says, Rohit Sharma posts are coming..

Laugh n Share :)

From political angle:

• रोहित शर्मा को 200 से आगे रन बनाते देख राहुल गाँधी ने निराश होकर सोनिया गांधी से कहा: मम्मी लगता है ये भी मोदी की तरह 272+ के पार चला जाएगा !!!!
• रोहित शर्मा की पारी पर केजरी सर का कहना है कि भारत अतिथि देवो भव की परंपरा को भूलता जा रहा है, क्या यहीं हैं अच्छे दिन..मोदी जी जवाब दें 
• थिसारा परेरा जिन्होंने 4 रन पर रोहित का कैच छोड़ा था उन्हें श्रीलंका वालों ने लिट्टे आतंकवादी घोषित करके गोली मारने का आदेश दिया है
• इस बीच केंद्र सरकार ने ये कहते हुए रोहित शर्मा की पारी की जांच एनआईए को सौंप दी है कि कोलकात्ता में एक और 'धमाका' हुआ है।
• "रोहित शर्मा की पारी, 'आप' की पहली लिस्ट से ध्यान हटाने की साजिश है...सब मिले हुए हैं।" - क्रेजी(केजरी) बाबा.. 

From crazy angle.. The awesome ones:

• बहुत कम लोग जानते हैं कि जब थिसारा परेरा से पूछा गया था कि मौत चाहिए या झींगालाला.. तब उन्होंने झींगालाला चुना था 
• ये श्री लंका की सोची समझी चाल है...ताकि वर्ल्ड कप में इंडिया रोहित शर्मा को प्लेइंग इलेवन में रख ले 
• रोहित शर्मा की तारीफ में कपिल देव इतना भावुक हो रहे हैं मुझे शक है वो उन्हें भगवान विष्णु का अवतार न बता दें।
• अगर लंकन खिलाड़ियों को पता होता कि उनका ये हश्र होने वाला है तो उनके खिलाड़ी अपनी जेब से वेस्टइंडीज़ खिलाड़ियों की सैलरी दे देते।
• रोहित शर्मा की इस पारी के सम्मान में हम सभी को उसके सम्मान में बनाए दो-दो जोक वापिस ले लेने चाहिए।
• 14 गेंद में 14 रन ....धीमी बल्लेबाज़ी के लिए उथप्पा की 50 % मैच फीस काट लेनी चाहिए।
• वक्त आ गया कि नाटो सेनाएं हस्तक्षेप कर रोहित शर्मा को शांत करवाए।
• विराट का घर टूटने से बचा लिया, रोहित का करियर बचा लिया....हम लंकन टीम का अहसान कभी नहीं उतार सकते।
• Lord Ram's performance is still the best ever individual performance by an Indian against Sri Lanka. #RohitSharma #Sorry
• BCCI announce the #wc15 squad. #RohitSharma akela hi ja rha hai BC. #IndvsSL
• One record #RohitSharma missed out on by one delivery, was Sunil Gavaskar's record for most balls faced. Gavaskar had made 36 not out.
• Breaking: Jadoo wondering if he gave super power to Rohit Sharma or Rohit Mehra
• The way cricket is being played, one day someone is going to break @BrianLara's test record in odi..
• #RohitSharma has a hearing problem. Captain said- Bhai 100 maar ke ana, he heard, Dhai 100 maar ke aana
• Of all countries playing cricket on a field..only Rohit Sharma plays it like on a video game
• Anushka's dad : dekh lo beta, love marriage me kya rakha hai, rohit apni community ka bhi hai, aur talented bhi hai.
• Rohit Sharma is now qualified to come on Comedy Nights with Kapil. #IndvsSL
• Who is Rohit Sharma? - Maria Sharapova

          ^WTF

Now, people from NITrr aren't behind either.. A few good ones from us:

• Harshit Rai: इस बीच लंकाई राष्ट्रपति का कहना है कि हम तुम्हारे मछुआरे छोड़ देंगे, तुम हमारे खिलाड़ी छोड़ दो।
• Siddharth Roy: From Maggi lord to a double double-centurian...... Rohit Sharma.. "Aakhir khata kya hai.... "
• Vishwanath Kaimal: Faking News: Rohit Shama scores more than Pakistan's entire GDP
• Kunal Swami: India 404 SriLanka- Target not found!

My Idea of Swacch Bharat

"NaMo picked Jhaadu, Kejriwal must be so happy" :p

One year completed!! Clean India campaign was launched on 2nd Oct, 2014, 145th birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi to create a clean India of his dreams by 2019. Within a day after coming back to India from his highly successful US visit, Prime Minister Narendra Modi (having jetlag) welded the broom and launched the biggest ever cleanliness and sanitation drive called 'Swachh Bharat Abhiyan' in the country, focussing on the fact that maintaining cleanliness is not only the job of the sweepers and cleaners, but its also the duty of an Indian citizen.

Now, what do you need to do, to maintain cleanliness? What comes to your mind when you think of cleanliness? Does cleanliness really mean picking the rags off the roads?
What about cleaning the country from the main filth and litters that have been causing diseases to the country?

Filth like corruption, communalism and terrorism often are talked about for a few days and then ignored. Shouldn't these be cleaned as well?

Let us deviate a bit from the real event and see what can we take from the idea of Swacch Bharat.

Cleanliness from sick minds-
"Oh Shit! Its a girl!!! We should kill her before she's born! Or we'd leave her after her birth! Else she'd be a pain in the pocket!!"
"Beti ke padhai pe kon kharcha kare!!"
"I'd have to give dowry"
These sick minds need to be cleaned at first. Need not explain the importance of a girl in the society. Its already known and proved. Just I wish there was a broom to clean such people.


Cleanliness from terrorism-
People beheading other people in the name of teachings taught by their religion. This makes as much sense as cutting trees for the protection of environment. Who can establish peace by a Goddamn bomb blast.. The small terrorist groups sponsered by foreign agencies must be cleaned and we're safe and healthy from the diseases caused by this trash.

Cleanliness from corruption-
"Dust Love is in the air"
Dust kills a man slowly, similarly corruption is killing the country. Swacch the Swiss-Bank accounts of the corrupt politicians and we're good to go.
Ironically, these politicians clean India (Saara maal apni jeb mein).

Cleanliness from communalism-
India is a secular country. Still many political parties play communal politics. Some give hate speeches, while some want India to be a single-religion country. Some beat people from other states as well.
Irony is that, while doing election campaigns, they demand and propose a secular state, and have a religion's name in their party's name. Great!!

Other issues like poverty, unemployment, farmer suicides and debt bondage should be addressed.

So what does My Idea of Swacch Bharat include-

• Get rid of all the religious/communal/bigotry filth inside your brain !!!
• People stop pouring milk on idols , that is drained off in sewer line.
• Gifting harpic to the people who pee on the walls.
• Clean the narrow minds of people and celebrate. Swacch Minds
• Green India => Clean India
• When opposition parties leave their ego & do their part in development of the country.
• Clean up the Swiss bank accounts of all Indian politicians.
• Clean all the Justin Beiber songs from your mobile. (Pun :D )

So don't just clear your browser history for the sake of cleaning something. :)
Happy Cleaning, Not just for today.. Cuz we celebrate a trend for few days only..

Do watch this-

Now go BROOM  BROOOOM  BROOOOOOOOOMMM.... :)

Stochastic Theory - The Pregnant Deer Story

Ever found yourself in a situation where nothing goes your way?
All you can feel is how miserable your life has become. That "Loser Wali Feel" is one of the worst things one can experience in life. Your situation is like what the pregnant deer is facing right now- STUCK!!
Just have a look.

Many of you would have read this before.. Its a very famous story.. But still, if not, then before you proceed, try to think what happens to the deer.

Will everything be burnt by the forest fire...?
Can the deer go left..? No, the hunter's arrow is pointing at her.
Can she go right...? No, the hungry male lion is approaching her.
Can she move up..? No, there the forest is on fire.
Can she move down..? No, that is where the fierce river is.

Honestly, in similar situations in life, I tend to lose hope, and start panicking. I forget to 'chill' as one would advice. Ah.. A bad habit of mine. After reading the explanation to this theory, I was awestruck!! I realized that problems in the mind are smaller than they appear..

See what happens to the deer..

In a spur of MOMENT, a lightning strikes and blinds the eyes of the hunter...!
At that MOMENT, he releases the arrow missing and zipping past the deer...!
At that MOMENT, the arrow hits and injures the lion badly...!
At that MOMENT, it starts to rain heavily and puts out the forest fire...!
At that next MOMENT, the deer gives birth to a healthy fawn...!

LOL!! The deer didn't die, instead one new deer was added to the world :D

Call that crazy, but the point is, THERE WAS A WAY OUT!!!

I too had a similar situation..(Wasn't pregnant of-course :D ). I was surrounded by the same amount of tension as the deer.  Demotivated, frustrated, irritated, everything at the same time. The clouds were darker cuz I wasn't selected for the second round of one of the good companies that day. Fire was fierce cuz "Jal Gayi Thi". Behind me was my inner competitive person pointing arrow towards me, and ahead of me was INFOEDGE!!
And the arrow striked INFOEDGE!! I cracked it..
Thanks to someone's formula- Repeat 'BHAD ME JAA' in your mind.

In our life too, there are MOMENTS of CHOICE when we all have to deal with negative thoughts from all sides. Some thoughts are so powerful they overcome us and make us clueless.

Anything can happen in a MOMENT in this life. If you are religious, superstitious, atheist, agnostic or whatever, you can attribute this MOMENT to divine intervention, faith, sudden luck, serendipity, coincidence, karma, or a simple 'BHAAD ME JAA'...!!!

Farewell To Seniors- The Nerd way

Bas socha humne ki kuch khaas kiya jaye..
In panktiyo k sath kavita ka aagaz kiya jaye

Is kavita me bhi ab aap computer ka style dekho
Chand shabdon ko kaise kiya humne 'compile' dekho

Jab hum juniors ban k aate hain to hume college life seniors hi sikhaate hain.. Agli kuch lines ek junior ka safar senior k saath darshati hain..
Panktiya padhta hu,

Ke Hum sab ne aapse bahut kuch cheezein paayi hai
College ki 'cin-cout' hume aapne hi to sikhayi hai

Aur hui thi shuruaat in yadgaar silsiloon ki
Jab kholi thi aapne 'windows' apne diloon ki

Aankho me bade bade sapno ki train liye
Ek safar shuru kiya tha 'void brain()' liye
Raaste me aapke naye chehro se mulakaat ho gayi
Aisa 'program' bana jisse khushiyo ki barsaat ho gayi
Wo din hume chahne wale dost de gaye,
Wo lamhe bhula na pane waale log de gaye

Tab se is safar me bahut yaadein judi meethi meethi
Kabhi canteen me treat hui to  kabhi cheating in CT
Yaadein bhi aisi aisi ki dil aur man ko choo le
Jaise aapki welcome party ko hum ab tak nahi bhoole

Jo lamhe zindagi ke anmol pal ban gaye
Wo ab aankho k jal ban jayenge
Kaash un lamho ko hum fir se jee paate
Wo lamhe ab guzre hue kal ban jayenge

Koi jayenge banglooore, to koi jayenge pune
Par aapke bin lagenge ye corridor soone soone
Yaad rakhna ki kar to doge aap hume bye bye
Par roz yaad ayegi aapko lakhan bhaiya ki chai


Bas Jagah badal rahe ho aap,
Dil me koi dooriee nahi hai
Dil me ho, chahe jab milo
Fasle hain par majboori nahi hai

Ye waada hai aapse
Rishta hamara badhta jayega...
Dosti hamari badhti jayegi...
Kyuki is dosti ko hum har din streCH karte hai..
Is hi waade k sath is kavita ko 'get-CH()' karte hain....