Mumbai: The City Has It All

Its Chennai Super Kings vs Mumbai Indians today. Though I'm a die hard fan of Chennai Super Kings, I,m sharing something about Mumbai. This I realized last year when I was there. Nearly one year went past when I left Mumbai..
But,

You can take the boy out of Bombay, but You cannot take out Bombay out of the boy

Mumbai: The City Has It All

Just re-sharing something I wrote about Mumbai last year..

Barish me bheegne ka mann nahi karta
Par Marine Drive ki high tide me bheegna accha lagta hai...

8:20 ki JD passenger ki bheed pasand nahi
Par Dadar-Kurla ki bheed dekh kar accha lagta hai...

Raipur se bus me Bhilai jaane me sar dard karta tha
Par BEST ki bus me khada rehna accha lagta hai..

Demand to hum originality se niche ki karte hi nhi..
Par fashion street se duplicate jersey lena accha lagta hai..

Zameen pe dekh k chalne ki aadat hai
Par badi badi imaaratein dekh k accha lagta hai..

Is mumbai me..
Ameer din raat bas paise paise kar ke rota hai
Aur gareeb bin paise haste haste sadko pe sota hai..

Qki..
Yeh mumbai hai.. Yahaan aisaicch hota hai :D

10 New Year resolutions you should (not) consider for 2015

Nothing is perfect. Even the most prestigious dictionaries. Don't believe? See the word resolution in them. The Oxford Dictionary says- Resolution: A firm decision to do or not to do something.
Good Goddddd.. You've been fooled in two ways:

First, the decision is not firm, and
Second, notice carefully  the 'to do or not to do' part. We do what we take a 'firm decision' to not to do, and we don't do what we decide to do. So cleverly written by the dictionary people.

Yes, I'm talking about new year's resolution, a goal that you propose then forget the next day.
Here are some suggestions you can follow for the upcoming new year's resolution. But before that, for clarification purpose, keep this in mind :-

For who love me so much that they take me literally

So here are some not so out of the blue ideas you should consider as resolutions and deny them in a matter of days:

1. I will tag 125 odd people in my Facebook pics: Yes, People should know that I've uploaded a DP.. Right? It is important for current affairs and might be asked in exams. So better to spread social awareness. And why 125, one should tag them all.. Right? I will also send Candy Crush requests to people to know I'm a master gamer and in return people will acknowledge my concern for them by seeing my lovely candy crush requests on their notifications.

2. I will spread more and more litter in public places: Why not? Litter is awesome, litter creates life in form of mosquitoes. Litter smells fantastic as well. It shows our creativity, reflects our choices- it makes people know that you love what flavor of chips. Even tourists appreciate the paan- stains on the wall of shame which quotes- Yahaan Thookna Mana Hai, it shows how daring we people are. See.. How proud TajMahal feels beside this Heavenly sight of litter:

Waah Taj

3. I will not pay my taxes to the government: Oh yes, and apart from that, why categorize money as black or white money? Why become racists? You should love black money and keep it hidden from the real world.

4. I will put every shit I do, on Facebook: This shouldn't be in this list actually, cuz people already put every shit on Facebook. What they're feeling, Which place they're in, or for God's sake their relationship has become complicated 5th time since inception. Its alright until they don't take the word shit literally. That would be weird though.

5. I will watch movies like Happy New Year and shows like Bigg Boss: Why watch inception, the movie doesn't have dance sequences and awesome songs like 'India Waale'. There are not even background dancers, WTF!!! Still the movie went for Oscars. And bigg boss? Who wouldn't love the show, it truly reflects how we fight, or how we throw things on each other in our homes daily. Right?

6. I will judge people on regions and looks: Yes, I'll call an east Indian a Chinese, I'll call Chhattisgarhi people as tribals, Shows my GK you know. Ignorance is bliss :D

7. I will blindly follow fake babas: Eating a samosa with various options of chutney ain't a bad option. Eh? What do they demand in return? JUST some small amount of money, so small that its counted in thousands, which you earn by working your asses off.

Of-course Fake Babas

8. I will skip the traffic lights: Yes, words of wisdom. Why stop for 30 odd seconds, time wasted is time lost you know, and we people are badass enough to skip the red light, also there aren't cops in India who will follow you entire way for that.

9. I will still try not to be aware of who I am: This is tricky. We're so busy in putting our noses in other's business that we hardly have any time to evaluate ourselves. Why waste time to evaluate ourselves? After all, not knowing self helps in saying these wonderful and full of curiousity qoutes like: Tu jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai?

Dude. Its Shehenshah. Rishtey me to... ...

10. I will follow all the above rules: Yes, why not.. (Lol. Don't)



May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. And also, I didn't mean it, so,

Keep Visiting..
You'll get the love of your life.. Just Kidding, you won't.. But still +1, Like and Share :D

Bhonda is the new Fugly

It doesn't matter how I collect ideas which create a Kumbh Mela in mind and persuade me to create a new post, or how I lay on my bed and elevate my legs to 60 degrees and then use laptop on them, if it doesn't bring a smile on someone's face. So here is another attempt to do so.

So I heard this word BHONDA two years ago from my friend. While it seemed very catchy, but on the other side of the coin, it also sounded like a slang. Well its not. 

The meaning of this word is as easy as to explain the meaning of Jalebi to an American. Many do research works in their area of interest in last year of the college. I did research on this word. Its equivalent of  FUGLY, from the song itself. Keep the tune in mind while reading.

Here is what I found :) Take some time and enjoy.. 

Ye bhonda bhonda kya hai

Ye bhonda bhonda kya hai

Ye bhonda bhonda kya hai

Ye bhonda bhonda kya hai

Tooti footi angrezi

Reply karne me lazy

Jaate khulle me shauchalay

Aur swacchta ke liye crazy

Sadko pe gehre gaddhay

Exam ke din me birthday

Chahe rakhi ka swayavwar

Ya train me likhna number 

Hum saari baatein jaane

Fir bhi hum baat na maane

Khud hi bante anjaane puche

BHONDA BHONDA kya hai

Toothpaste me namak mirchi

Ya naap bigaade darzi

Spam link ho ya pop up

Ya ho delta toolbar k marzi

Ladki ki farzi id

Dinbhar sony pe cid;

Teacher ki class me tarr tarr

All-out na maare macchar

Lambe lambe assignmment

Khaa gaye baki enjoyment

Saari raat banao fir bhi

Saali milti disappointment

Hum saari baatein jaane

Fir bhi hum baat na maane

Khud hi bante anjaane puche

BHONDA BHONDA kya hai

Thanks :)

Keep Visiting.. Subscribe n Share else you're also bhonda :p

Funny FB and Twitter reactions to Rohit Sharma's 264 :)

Indeed. Brace Yourselves.. Because Rohit Sharma had a full dose of maggi before he came to bat and ended up scoring 264 of 173 balls. What a talent..

Speaking of talent, Indians are no exception. Yes.. Twitter and Facebook flooded with intelligent posts. Listed below are some funny reactions of people about the innings.. A blend of Facebook, Twitter, हिन्दी and English. So as the pic says, Rohit Sharma posts are coming..

Laugh n Share :)

From political angle:

• रोहित शर्मा को 200 से आगे रन बनाते देख राहुल गाँधी ने निराश होकर सोनिया गांधी से कहा: मम्मी लगता है ये भी मोदी की तरह 272+ के पार चला जाएगा !!!!
• रोहित शर्मा की पारी पर केजरी सर का कहना है कि भारत अतिथि देवो भव की परंपरा को भूलता जा रहा है, क्या यहीं हैं अच्छे दिन..मोदी जी जवाब दें 
• थिसारा परेरा जिन्होंने 4 रन पर रोहित का कैच छोड़ा था उन्हें श्रीलंका वालों ने लिट्टे आतंकवादी घोषित करके गोली मारने का आदेश दिया है
• इस बीच केंद्र सरकार ने ये कहते हुए रोहित शर्मा की पारी की जांच एनआईए को सौंप दी है कि कोलकात्ता में एक और 'धमाका' हुआ है।
• "रोहित शर्मा की पारी, 'आप' की पहली लिस्ट से ध्यान हटाने की साजिश है...सब मिले हुए हैं।" - क्रेजी(केजरी) बाबा.. 

From crazy angle.. The awesome ones:

• बहुत कम लोग जानते हैं कि जब थिसारा परेरा से पूछा गया था कि मौत चाहिए या झींगालाला.. तब उन्होंने झींगालाला चुना था 
• ये श्री लंका की सोची समझी चाल है...ताकि वर्ल्ड कप में इंडिया रोहित शर्मा को प्लेइंग इलेवन में रख ले 
• रोहित शर्मा की तारीफ में कपिल देव इतना भावुक हो रहे हैं मुझे शक है वो उन्हें भगवान विष्णु का अवतार न बता दें।
• अगर लंकन खिलाड़ियों को पता होता कि उनका ये हश्र होने वाला है तो उनके खिलाड़ी अपनी जेब से वेस्टइंडीज़ खिलाड़ियों की सैलरी दे देते।
• रोहित शर्मा की इस पारी के सम्मान में हम सभी को उसके सम्मान में बनाए दो-दो जोक वापिस ले लेने चाहिए।
• 14 गेंद में 14 रन ....धीमी बल्लेबाज़ी के लिए उथप्पा की 50 % मैच फीस काट लेनी चाहिए।
• वक्त आ गया कि नाटो सेनाएं हस्तक्षेप कर रोहित शर्मा को शांत करवाए।
• विराट का घर टूटने से बचा लिया, रोहित का करियर बचा लिया....हम लंकन टीम का अहसान कभी नहीं उतार सकते।
• Lord Ram's performance is still the best ever individual performance by an Indian against Sri Lanka. #RohitSharma #Sorry
• BCCI announce the #wc15 squad. #RohitSharma akela hi ja rha hai BC. #IndvsSL
• One record #RohitSharma missed out on by one delivery, was Sunil Gavaskar's record for most balls faced. Gavaskar had made 36 not out.
• Breaking: Jadoo wondering if he gave super power to Rohit Sharma or Rohit Mehra
• The way cricket is being played, one day someone is going to break @BrianLara's test record in odi..
• #RohitSharma has a hearing problem. Captain said- Bhai 100 maar ke ana, he heard, Dhai 100 maar ke aana
• Of all countries playing cricket on a field..only Rohit Sharma plays it like on a video game
• Anushka's dad : dekh lo beta, love marriage me kya rakha hai, rohit apni community ka bhi hai, aur talented bhi hai.
• Rohit Sharma is now qualified to come on Comedy Nights with Kapil. #IndvsSL
• Who is Rohit Sharma? - Maria Sharapova

          ^WTF

Now, people from NITrr aren't behind either.. A few good ones from us:

• Harshit Rai: इस बीच लंकाई राष्ट्रपति का कहना है कि हम तुम्हारे मछुआरे छोड़ देंगे, तुम हमारे खिलाड़ी छोड़ दो।
• Siddharth Roy: From Maggi lord to a double double-centurian...... Rohit Sharma.. "Aakhir khata kya hai.... "
• Vishwanath Kaimal: Faking News: Rohit Shama scores more than Pakistan's entire GDP
• Kunal Swami: India 404 SriLanka- Target not found!

My Idea of Swacch Bharat

"NaMo picked Jhaadu, Kejriwal must be so happy" :p

One year completed!! Clean India campaign was launched on 2nd Oct, 2014, 145th birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi to create a clean India of his dreams by 2019. Within a day after coming back to India from his highly successful US visit, Prime Minister Narendra Modi (having jetlag) welded the broom and launched the biggest ever cleanliness and sanitation drive called 'Swachh Bharat Abhiyan' in the country, focussing on the fact that maintaining cleanliness is not only the job of the sweepers and cleaners, but its also the duty of an Indian citizen.

Now, what do you need to do, to maintain cleanliness? What comes to your mind when you think of cleanliness? Does cleanliness really mean picking the rags off the roads?
What about cleaning the country from the main filth and litters that have been causing diseases to the country?

Filth like corruption, communalism and terrorism often are talked about for a few days and then ignored. Shouldn't these be cleaned as well?

Let us deviate a bit from the real event and see what can we take from the idea of Swacch Bharat.

Cleanliness from sick minds-
"Oh Shit! Its a girl!!! We should kill her before she's born! Or we'd leave her after her birth! Else she'd be a pain in the pocket!!"
"Beti ke padhai pe kon kharcha kare!!"
"I'd have to give dowry"
These sick minds need to be cleaned at first. Need not explain the importance of a girl in the society. Its already known and proved. Just I wish there was a broom to clean such people.


Cleanliness from terrorism-
People beheading other people in the name of teachings taught by their religion. This makes as much sense as cutting trees for the protection of environment. Who can establish peace by a Goddamn bomb blast.. The small terrorist groups sponsered by foreign agencies must be cleaned and we're safe and healthy from the diseases caused by this trash.

Cleanliness from corruption-
"Dust Love is in the air"
Dust kills a man slowly, similarly corruption is killing the country. Swacch the Swiss-Bank accounts of the corrupt politicians and we're good to go.
Ironically, these politicians clean India (Saara maal apni jeb mein).

Cleanliness from communalism-
India is a secular country. Still many political parties play communal politics. Some give hate speeches, while some want India to be a single-religion country. Some beat people from other states as well.
Irony is that, while doing election campaigns, they demand and propose a secular state, and have a religion's name in their party's name. Great!!

Other issues like poverty, unemployment, farmer suicides and debt bondage should be addressed.

So what does My Idea of Swacch Bharat include-

• Get rid of all the religious/communal/bigotry filth inside your brain !!!
• People stop pouring milk on idols , that is drained off in sewer line.
• Gifting harpic to the people who pee on the walls.
• Clean the narrow minds of people and celebrate. Swacch Minds
• Green India => Clean India
• When opposition parties leave their ego & do their part in development of the country.
• Clean up the Swiss bank accounts of all Indian politicians.
• Clean all the Justin Beiber songs from your mobile. (Pun :D )

So don't just clear your browser history for the sake of cleaning something. :)
Happy Cleaning, Not just for today.. Cuz we celebrate a trend for few days only..

Do watch this-

Now go BROOM  BROOOOM  BROOOOOOOOOMMM.... :)