Sunday, 21 December 2014

10 New Year resolutions you should (not) consider for 2015

Nothing is perfect. Even the most prestigious dictionaries. Don't believe? See the word resolution in them. The Oxford Dictionary says- Resolution: A firm decision to do or not to do something.
Good Goddddd.. You've been fooled in two ways:

First, the decision is not firm, and
Second, notice carefully  the 'to do or not to do' part. We do what we take a 'firm decision' to not to do, and we don't do what we decide to do. So cleverly written by the dictionary people.

Yes, I'm talking about new year's resolution, a goal that you propose then forget the next day.
Here are some suggestions you can follow for the upcoming new year's resolution. But before that, for clarification purpose, keep this in mind :-

For who love me so much that they take me literally

So here are some not so out of the blue ideas you should consider as resolutions and deny them in a matter of days:

1. I will tag 125 odd people in my Facebook pics: Yes, People should know that I've uploaded a DP.. Right? It is important for current affairs and might be asked in exams. So better to spread social awareness. And why 125, one should tag them all.. Right? I will also send Candy Crush requests to people to know I'm a master gamer and in return people will acknowledge my concern for them by seeing my lovely candy crush requests on their notifications.

2. I will spread more and more litter in public places: Why not? Litter is awesome, litter creates life in form of mosquitoes. Litter smells fantastic as well. It shows our creativity, reflects our choices- it makes people know that you love what flavor of chips. Even tourists appreciate the paan- stains on the wall of shame which quotes- Yahaan Thookna Mana Hai, it shows how daring we people are. See.. How proud TajMahal feels beside this Heavenly sight of litter:

Waah Taj

3. I will not pay my taxes to the government: Oh yes, and apart from that, why categorize money as black or white money? Why become racists? You should love black money and keep it hidden from the real world.

4. I will put every shit I do, on Facebook: This shouldn't be in this list actually, cuz people already put every shit on Facebook. What they're feeling, Which place they're in, or for God's sake their relationship has become complicated 5th time since inception. Its alright until they don't take the word shit literally. That would be weird though.

5. I will watch movies like Happy New Year and shows like Bigg Boss: Why watch inception, the movie doesn't have dance sequences and awesome songs like 'India Waale'. There are not even background dancers, WTF!!! Still the movie went for Oscars. And bigg boss? Who wouldn't love the show, it truly reflects how we fight, or how we throw things on each other in our homes daily. Right?

6. I will judge people on regions and looks: Yes, I'll call an east Indian a Chinese, I'll call Chhattisgarhi people as tribals, Shows my GK you know. Ignorance is bliss :D

7. I will blindly follow fake babas: Eating a samosa with various options of chutney ain't a bad option. Eh? What do they demand in return? JUST some small amount of money, so small that its counted in thousands, which you earn by working your asses off.

Of-course Fake Babas

8. I will skip the traffic lights: Yes, words of wisdom. Why stop for 30 odd seconds, time wasted is time lost you know, and we people are badass enough to skip the red light, also there aren't cops in India who will follow you entire way for that.

9. I will still try not to be aware of who I am: This is tricky. We're so busy in putting our noses in other's business that we hardly have any time to evaluate ourselves. Why waste time to evaluate ourselves? After all, not knowing self helps in saying these wonderful and full of curiousity qoutes like: Tu jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai?

Dude. Its Shehenshah. Rishtey me to... ...


10. I will follow all the above rules: Yes, why not.. (Lol. Don't)



May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. And also, I didn't mean it, so,


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You'll get the love of your life.. Just Kidding, you won't.. But still +1, Like and Share :D