GALAT

I'm back with another shitty post on this shitty blog. Now as usual, the first paragraph will be full of intense self loathing. :D I started this for monetary purposes. But google was like.. Bro.. Write some similar content so that we can place ads. I said.. Back off Google.. I'll write random stuff. From then Me and google have some fierce rivalry between us. So what if google doesn't support ads here, My Mom still Loves me. :P

So whenever I get bored of humans and stuff I open this page and start writing random things.  So as usual I lay on my bed and elevate my legs to 60 degrees, and then put laptop on them, and it will be of no use if what I write doesn't bring a smile on reader's face. So after the grand success of 'What's wrong' in the posts Bhonda and Fugly, with both of the posts having 2 and 3 hits each (:p) , presenting the third one, "GALAT"

Shhoba bole players ko selfie ki padi hai
Sakshi aur Sindhu medal le ke khadi hai
Dipa ne bhi sabko deewana banaya
Shobha Ji ki GALATfehmi kitni badi hai

Idhar neta movie review de raha hai
Udhar Twitter jamke maze le raha hai
Wifi wala waada to khud naa nibhaya
Aur saste 4G ko GALAT keh raha hai

Patthar fekte ho Sena pe humaari
Kaha se hai pakdi ye GALAT beemari
Topo aur goliyo se bhi na dare jo
Tera patthar unpe padega na bhari

Footpath pe bhai ne chala di car
Kaale hiran ka bhi kiya shikaar
Fir bhi khula ghoome super-star
Wah kanoon kya GALAT kiya yaar

46  ke Pappu ko Yuva Soch Rahe hain..
Yuva leader ke liye bal noch rahe hain
Aur jinki hai umar ye karne ki Ghalib..
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Wo yuva humare Pokemon khoj rahe hain..


That's all folks :D

Don't bother to +1/Like/Share.. Google ain't giving me any money :P. Just kidding.. Do it.

Yeh Fugly Fugly Kya Hai

Its said that you've to know your audience. So I decided to be like my audience, and hence I myself did not open the blog for a very long time. Anyways, its got a shitty name :D

But few in India don't want this place to be shut forever and hence do some stupid shit, so that I can write about them :P
They tried very hard but only few made it to the post. Rest Rakhi Sawant, Ramdev Baba, Salman Khan(oops sorry, his driver), and other brilliant minds who think saying "Bharat Mata ki Jai" is a shame, will soon be given limelight.

If I'm not the only one smiling while writing this, man I'm on fire.. Else..  screw you, my mom likes me very much.

So writing the Part 2 of what's wrong, what's bhonda, what's fugly...

Now, obviously you haven't seen part1 so here is the link for the same.  I got familiar with a word भौकाल , and realized that when mixed with hindi, the below content is more भौकालish..
I have also copied rhyme from original song, cuz.. huh.. screw you.. My mom loves me.. :P
I hope you won't like/+1/share as it's against the author's good.

So here it goes..


ये फग्ली फग्ली क्या है
ये फग्ली फग्ली क्या है
ये फग्ली फग्ली क्या है
ये फग्ली फग्ली..

घोड़े को ज़ोर से कूटना
वैट के नाम पे लूटना
पप्पू का भाषण रटना
या JNU की घटना

बिल्डिंग पे चढ़ के चीटिंग
फूफाजी  कालिंग इन  मीटिंग
मोगली की U/A रेटिंग
मस्तीज़ादे से नो हेटिंग

हम सारी बाते जाने
फिर भी हम बात न माने
खुद ही बनते अनजाने, पूछे
फग्ली फग्ली क्या है..

Uber ने 4X ठानी
और ऑटो की मनमानी
ब्लॉग पे हिट्स न आना
और ताहेर शाह का गाना

हर्षा भोगले, हटाया
सिद्धू को बीच में लाया
सिद्धू के मन को भाया
दिमाग नोच के खाया

बिन सोचे बदले डीपी
कहते FB का है ट्रेंड;
यू आर ए परफेक्ट गाय
बट आई लाइक यू एस ए फ्रेंड

हम सारी बाते जाने
फिर भी हम बात न माने
खुद ही बनते अनजाने, पूछे..
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फग्ली फग्ली क्या है.. 


BTW..



 भारत माता की  जय 

Priye!!

Its been a while since I have posted something, and its been too long since someone even opened the blog :D
Anyways, when you get bored in the train and there are annoying kids around, all you can do is plug the earphones in, and ignore the world. But what if the annoying kids shout very much and even take your earphones?

I went to the upper berth and thought of a random stuff and wrote something. Sharing the same with you.. Please ignore this one as well like the others. Don't even bother to +1 or like, you don't, anyways.. :D

Priye..

Mai kora kaagaz dustbin ka
Tum samsung galaxy ka note priye

Mai bihar chunaav me bhaajpa sa
Tum le gyi saare vote priye

Mai karele ka kadwa sa ras
Tum shakkar ki mithaas priye

Mai do by do ka kamra hoon
Tum ho deewan-e-khaas priye..

Tum Enrique ka madhur sa gaana
Mai altaaf raja ki ghazal priye

Tum cornflakes ki deewani ho
Mai kaale chane ki fasal priye

Tum lgti ho  iOS wali
Mai symbian ka phone priye

Tum 3G 4G LTE
Mai no network ka zone priye

Tum delhi metro ka pehla coach
Mai dadar local ka dabba priye

Tum ho pasta ka white sauce..
Mai aavle ka murabba priye

Har jagah dekha har jagah dhundha
Na tumsa koi haseen priye

Tum sab sach maan kar hasne wali
Mai jhut bolne ki machine priye...

Mumbai: The City Has It All

Its Chennai Super Kings vs Mumbai Indians today. Though I'm a die hard fan of Chennai Super Kings, I,m sharing something about Mumbai. This I realized last year when I was there. Nearly one year went past when I left Mumbai..
But,

You can take the boy out of Bombay, but You cannot take out Bombay out of the boy

Mumbai: The City Has It All

Just re-sharing something I wrote about Mumbai last year..

Barish me bheegne ka mann nahi karta
Par Marine Drive ki high tide me bheegna accha lagta hai...

8:20 ki JD passenger ki bheed pasand nahi
Par Dadar-Kurla ki bheed dekh kar accha lagta hai...

Raipur se bus me Bhilai jaane me sar dard karta tha
Par BEST ki bus me khada rehna accha lagta hai..

Demand to hum originality se niche ki karte hi nhi..
Par fashion street se duplicate jersey lena accha lagta hai..

Zameen pe dekh k chalne ki aadat hai
Par badi badi imaaratein dekh k accha lagta hai..

Is mumbai me..
Ameer din raat bas paise paise kar ke rota hai
Aur gareeb bin paise haste haste sadko pe sota hai..

Qki..
Yeh mumbai hai.. Yahaan aisaicch hota hai :D

10 New Year resolutions you should (not) consider for 2015

Nothing is perfect. Even the most prestigious dictionaries. Don't believe? See the word resolution in them. The Oxford Dictionary says- Resolution: A firm decision to do or not to do something.
Good Goddddd.. You've been fooled in two ways:

First, the decision is not firm, and
Second, notice carefully  the 'to do or not to do' part. We do what we take a 'firm decision' to not to do, and we don't do what we decide to do. So cleverly written by the dictionary people.

Yes, I'm talking about new year's resolution, a goal that you propose then forget the next day.
Here are some suggestions you can follow for the upcoming new year's resolution. But before that, for clarification purpose, keep this in mind :-

For who love me so much that they take me literally

So here are some not so out of the blue ideas you should consider as resolutions and deny them in a matter of days:

1. I will tag 125 odd people in my Facebook pics: Yes, People should know that I've uploaded a DP.. Right? It is important for current affairs and might be asked in exams. So better to spread social awareness. And why 125, one should tag them all.. Right? I will also send Candy Crush requests to people to know I'm a master gamer and in return people will acknowledge my concern for them by seeing my lovely candy crush requests on their notifications.

2. I will spread more and more litter in public places: Why not? Litter is awesome, litter creates life in form of mosquitoes. Litter smells fantastic as well. It shows our creativity, reflects our choices- it makes people know that you love what flavor of chips. Even tourists appreciate the paan- stains on the wall of shame which quotes- Yahaan Thookna Mana Hai, it shows how daring we people are. See.. How proud TajMahal feels beside this Heavenly sight of litter:

Waah Taj

3. I will not pay my taxes to the government: Oh yes, and apart from that, why categorize money as black or white money? Why become racists? You should love black money and keep it hidden from the real world.

4. I will put every shit I do, on Facebook: This shouldn't be in this list actually, cuz people already put every shit on Facebook. What they're feeling, Which place they're in, or for God's sake their relationship has become complicated 5th time since inception. Its alright until they don't take the word shit literally. That would be weird though.

5. I will watch movies like Happy New Year and shows like Bigg Boss: Why watch inception, the movie doesn't have dance sequences and awesome songs like 'India Waale'. There are not even background dancers, WTF!!! Still the movie went for Oscars. And bigg boss? Who wouldn't love the show, it truly reflects how we fight, or how we throw things on each other in our homes daily. Right?

6. I will judge people on regions and looks: Yes, I'll call an east Indian a Chinese, I'll call Chhattisgarhi people as tribals, Shows my GK you know. Ignorance is bliss :D

7. I will blindly follow fake babas: Eating a samosa with various options of chutney ain't a bad option. Eh? What do they demand in return? JUST some small amount of money, so small that its counted in thousands, which you earn by working your asses off.

Of-course Fake Babas

8. I will skip the traffic lights: Yes, words of wisdom. Why stop for 30 odd seconds, time wasted is time lost you know, and we people are badass enough to skip the red light, also there aren't cops in India who will follow you entire way for that.

9. I will still try not to be aware of who I am: This is tricky. We're so busy in putting our noses in other's business that we hardly have any time to evaluate ourselves. Why waste time to evaluate ourselves? After all, not knowing self helps in saying these wonderful and full of curiousity qoutes like: Tu jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai?

Dude. Its Shehenshah. Rishtey me to... ...

10. I will follow all the above rules: Yes, why not.. (Lol. Don't)



May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. And also, I didn't mean it, so,

Keep Visiting..
You'll get the love of your life.. Just Kidding, you won't.. But still +1, Like and Share :D